Inspiration
by white pedal
Summary: Yuki learns about the kind of inspiration that can make people realize there are better places to look for inspiration as he finds Shuichi crying when he comes out of his office after reading a book.


_**Another Gravitation fic, enjoy:)**_

* * *

"I'm home!" Shuichi announced as he entered the apartment. Everything was silent except for the sound of typing on a keyboard.

Shuichi knew Yuki was writing his story, and judging by how fast and harsh the typing was Yuki has his deadline coming up. Shuichi didn't want to disturb him, while he would usually sit by Yuki and talk as he wrote, Yuki often times had to work quickly and had to get a story finished on time. So tonight, Shuichi wasn't going to bother him.

"Yuki's working on the last chapters of his book," Shuichi realized, then he sighed, "looks like it'll be an all nighter, I better not go in his office. Better get dinner ready."

Shuichi put his stuff away and went to the kitchen and started cooking, almost two hours later he made himself and Yuki some salmon and rice with asparagus. Shuichi listened again and Yuki was still typing, the pink haired boy frowned, he oftened worried for Yuki when he worked this late. His health not always the best and last time he did three late nighters and he hadn't eaten anything during that time and it caused him to collapse and be sent to the hospital.

Shuichi prayed it wouldn't happen again, "I hope he'll take a break soon." he said to himself.

Shuichi knew it will be a while until Yuki comes out for dinner and to grab either a beer or make himself coffee. So Shuichi put Yuki's dish in the microwave so it would be warm when he comes out, and Shuich ate alone.

He was lonely as he ate his food, he enjoyed eating with Yuki. Sometimes they would talk, and if there is nothing to talk about they ate in silence but Shuichi was glad that Yuki was there for company.

After he was done eating, he went to the living room to find something to do. The T.V. was on a fritz due to satalite issues so Shuichi decided to find something to read, he already read Music Weekly so that was out of the question.

He went through the shelf until something caught his eye. It was a novel with a big printed title.

"Guilt?" Shuichi said the title. He looked at the bottom, and to his surprise it said 'by Eiri Yuki', "Yuki wrote this?" he said to himself.

Shuichi looked at the book, while Shuichi had read a couple of Yuki's books, thanks to his sister Maiko who is a fan of Yuki's and was kind enough to lend her brother some of her books so he would be brought up to speed on his lover's work, he never read this book before.

Curious, Shuichi sat down and opened the book, and he began to read.

* * *

Three hours have passed and Yuki sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose. He had never been so exhusted, but he couldn't stop or else his editor Mizuki would be on his ass for missing his deadline. And that was the last thing he wanted.

He took out a cigarette and lit it, he placed it to his lips and took a puff of it and blew out the smoke. Finally, he felt some stress relief, then he looked at the clock and saw it was eight.

"Hmm, that late?" Yuki said to himself, "I have a couple more pages to go, guess I should take a break."

Then his stomach growled, he realized he hadn't eaten anything at all since he was so preoccupied with his book and deadline, "Damn, I didn't eat anything," then he remembered a couple of hours ago he smelled salmon and realized that Shuichi was home and made dinner, and then he also realized that Shuichi was also out there alone, probably waiting for him.

"The poor brat must have been waiting for hours."

Yuki started to feel a tad bit guilty. Shuichi and Yuki compramised that when Yuki has a deadline to meet he has to be alone to finish it and can't be distracted at all cost. And Shuichi, bless his heart, said he would do anything possible to be quiet when he comes home when that situation occurs for Yuki's sake. While Shuichi has toned down his hyper and energenic persona at home when it was absolutely needed, Yuki had to admit during those times, no matter how close the deadline, it gets boring. He actually missed Shuichi coming into his office and sitting next to him and talking about his day at NG regardless of how annoying it sounded, Yuki didn't want to admit it but he actually got more inspiration from Shuichi talking to him during those times and when Shuichi sang to him.

Hell, Shuichi's hit song 'In the Moonlight' is what made him write his latest hit novel.

As Yuki came out of his office and was heading to the kitchen, he heard sniffling and hiccuping coming from a distance. Curious he went to see where the sound came from, eventually he found his way to the living room, where he saw his pink haired lover's back and holding something, shaking as he sat on the couch.

Yuki blinked, "Hey, welcome back," he said to get Shuichi's attention.

Shuichi turned his head, and Yuki was shocked to see Shuichi having tears streaming down his face, his face filled with sorrow and his eyes were nearly bloodshot.

Yuki was surprised,"Huh? What's wrong with you?" Yuki asked with a bit of alarm and worry in his voice, he never seen Shuichi this upset, not even when they had their fights and when they broke up one time.

Shuichi quickly wiped his eyes, "Oh, hi Yuki," Shuichi answed as he sniffed a bit, "are you finished with your story?"

"I'm taking a break, only three more pages to go, but why are you crying? You said you cry once a day and you did that this morning when Mizuki yelled at me over the phone to get the story finished before the deadline." Yuki said recalling the memory of this morning before Shuichi left for NG.

Shuichi looked down, then he lifted the book to Yuki. When Yuki saw the title, he blinked and he realized why Shuichi was so sad.

"Oh, I see...I almost forgot about that book." Yuki said.

Shuichi looked at the book again with a frown, "...This story is so sad, I know you write tragic love stories, but this is saddest one out of all of the books I read."

Yuki sat on the couch with Shuichi put his arms on the top as he looked at him, "I suppose...but then again it was the first book I ever written."

Shuichi blinked in surprise as he turned his head to Yuki, "Really? This was the first story you ever written?"

Yuki reached for another cigarette and lit it in his mouth, "Yep, I wrote it and published it when I was eighteen, that story jump started my career as a novelist. Hell, it was because of it that I made twenty five thousand dollars and was able to move out of Kyoto to Japan and managed to write more books as a living."

Shuichi was still surprised, but was also amazed that Yuki became a famous novelist at such a young age. He smiled a little bit, "That's amazing Yuki."

Yuki smirked, "You always say that, but thank you."

"...Yuki?"

"Yes?"

Shuichi looked at Yuki with uncertainty, worried that he will say next might upset the writer, "...Your story...was it based on your time with Yuki Kitazawa?"

Yuki was silent and starred at Shuichi, a few moments later he lowered his eyes, "So you figured out what 'Guilt' was based off of I see." Yuki said.

The plot to Yuki's story 'Guilt' was similar to his past when he lived in New York. The main character moves to New York for a fresh start after his bitter divorce with his ex-wife who cheated on him, and then he meets this woman who he fell for and who encouraged him to follow his dreams in she betrays him by having a group of men beat him up and mug him, and just when they were about to kill him, he got a gun and shot them in self defense. But he killed the woman by accident and by the end of the story, he becomes a successful actor and even after what the woman did to him, he dedicated his success to her.

Shuichi gave Yuki a sad look, "...You really admired Kitazawa, didn't you?" he asked.

Yuki looks away and he puffed on his cigarette once more, while he didn't say anything Shuichi knew the answer when he looked into the writers golden eyes. Shuichi puts the book down and tears once again fell down his cheeks, Yuki looks at him and blinks as he became worried. Shuichi crying three times in one day tore it for Yuki.

"Shuichi?"

Shuichi looks at him, "It was never your fault!" he exclaimed softly, "I'm so sorry he made you feel that way and that he hurt you like that! I wish that never happened to you, Yuki! You didn't deserve what happened to you! And while I never knew you at sixteen, if I did I would have saved you!"

Yuki was shocked as Shuichi was now sobbing. Yuki was haunted by Kitazawa for about six years until he met Shuichi, and yet here is Shuichi crying over him because of a book he wrote based on that horrible experience. Yuki couldn't understand it, Yuki was the one that suffered yet Shuichi cries for him while Yuki tries not to, as if the pink haired man was the blonde's vessel for the emotions he kept inside for years as he closed people off. But seeing Shuichi cry over his lovers trauma made Yuki feel sorrow for the boy, Yuki learned not to cry for the past but even he wasn't prepared for the fact someone might for him.

Yuki puts out his cigarette and lifts Shuichi's chin and gently wipes his tears, his eyes softening as he looked at Shuichi, "It's done, Shuichi...he's gone and he can't hurt me now, what you read, while inspired by something bad in my life...is now just a story. And if someone doesn't like it, they can close it and never have to read it again if they don't want to. No need to get upset over me."

Shuichi blinked away his remaining tears, "Yuki?"

Yuki smiled, "Also, when my new book is published, you should check it out."

"Really?" Shuich said, "how come?"

Yuki places his hand on Shuichi's shoulder, "I realize that throughout my writing career, I wrote nothing but depressing shit. It made me wonder how I'm still so popular when I write nothing but miserable endings where the main characters usually die, get betrayed or end up alone...and I blame you for making me realize that."

Shuichi blinked, "Me? What did I do?"

"...You gave me hope. While you can be a pain in the ass and a real cry baby...you're my pain in the ass and cry baby who kept my hopes alive, made me tolerate my sister, brother and father again and , while he means well, tell Seguchi to fuck off when he gets too nosey. And lately my novels have turned from despressing, to bittersweet and now they might get happy endings," Yuki answered, then he leans to at Shuichi and smirks, "You're starting to rub off on me."

Shuichi felt a huge grin forming on his face, "Yuki!" and he kissed the author, it lasted for a few minutes until Yuki's stomach growled. They both blinked and Shuichi giggled while Yuki had a sheepish blush.

"...You wouldn't have happened to save tonight's dinner right?" Yuki asked.

Shuichi smiled and nodded, "Yep, I made some rice and salmon for you, it's in the microwave. I'll warm it up for you." Shuichi got up and headed to the kitchen.

Yuki smiles, then he looks at the book that made his lover cry. He picks it up and observes it, the book that started his success, that was inspired by Kitazawa scarring him and that made Shuichi cry.

He picked it up and threw it in the garbage as he headed to the kitchen.

* * *

 _ **The end, feel free to R &R**_


End file.
